A TEXT POST

An Open Letter to the Creators of “How I Met Your Mother.”

bookgeekconfessions:

Dear Creators of HIMYM,

Let’s talk about why we love your show.

We love your show because you created one of the most accurate representations of being a twenty-something in NY, trying to build a career while fostering friendships, searching for love and feeling the isolation that this city brings but honoring the incredible moments New York City affords. You created a show that was simultaneous laugh out loud funny and cry your eyes out heartbreaking. For that, we thank you.

You also effectively created a group of individuals who represented our generation in a way that we haven’t seen before and doesn’t exist elsewhere right now. We love these characters because they are layered, they make mistakes, they follow their own rules, and they’re better for it. They have grown with us. We have grown with them. They have seen us through our own heartbreaks, job trials, and friend tribulations. We’ve been with you since the beginning.

It’s not an exaggeration to say that in less than one hour you effectively broke the bond that we spend nine years building with these people. These people were our friends.  

Let’s talk about our friends.

Barney Stinson. What a guy? He’s actually the worst kind of guy but somehow you made him lovable. More than that you grounded him reality. You gave him depth. You slowly, subtly and brilliantly revealed his layers and allowed him to evolve and change. We watched Barney go from the playbook, to falling honestly in love and burning it. Barney’s evolution is one of the best on TV. His relationship with Robin grew from a place of respect and nurturing.  It was an amazing character arc, truly. 

Then, in a matter of minutes, you allowed him to regress, revert and deteriorate from that charming reformed ladies man to something worst than who he was in season 1.  We remember the moment where believed in Barney and Robin. When we realized that perhaps the show would not end with “just kidding kids, Aunt Robin is actually your mother!”  We believed when a bus hit Barney and his life flashed before his eyes, it was Robin that he saw. From there, you put us on a journey. We saw them fight it, get together, break up and once again unite in the most legendary of proposals. They were solid, in love and more importantly they accepted each other for the very flaws that past partners could not live with.

Barney ending his marriage with Robin over her successful career was more than a slap in the face (yes, it’s a reference to the slap bet) to his character development, but also a slap in the face all the people who grow and change as they learn what they want from life and love. Seeing the playbook once again in his hands and watching him chase after women half his age broke our hearts. He deserved more. His journey deserved more. 

And Lily, that beautiful firecracker, Lily’s journey has been one that we can closely relate to. For years, Lily chased her dream of being an artist. That dream led to her almost losing the love of her life, twice. But she believed in herself and needed to honor her desires. That dream pushed her from New York, to California and to Rome. That dream evolved, shifted and altered, but art was always there. We saw ourselves most in her when she cried believing that it was too late for her dream. But somehow you showed us it’s never too late. 

In this finale, her career is nothing more than a memory. Lily goes from a woman who managed to juggle marriage, children and work to a 1950’s caricature. She talks about her husband’s career, and pops out baby after baby. While Marshall is pursuing ambitions of being a judge what is Lily doing? Is she a stay at home mom?(Which would be fine, but is she?)  Does she have a part-time job? Does she work full-time and still manage to make it to Daisy’s dance recitals and Marvin’s baseball games? Or, does her life revolve around everything Marshall? How did this woman who we have watched for almost a decade end up? How was her story wrapped? How did it end? From the finale, we guess with many babies and her turning on her best girlfriend. 

Ted and Marshall both have their own inconsistencies but they get endings that honor their desires and character development in varying capacities. In fact Ted gets two happy endings, but more on that later. We could go more in depth on them, but we want to get to the real kicker. We want to get to the reason we felt impassioned to write this. The truth is, at one time or another we have seen ourselves in all of these people, but none more so than Robin Sherbatsky.

 Robin Sherbatsky is one of the best female characters to grace our television screens. She is strong AND feminine, invested in her career AND her love life. She is a woman who doesn’t apologize for who she is and what she believes in. She is the perfect role model for women in their twenties trying to pave their way in a world where women are valued solely on the size of their jeans. Her sense of self worth was NEVER connected to a man. She is a woman who knows herself, her values, her strengths, her weaknesses and her capacity for love.

Read More

Couldn’t have said it better myself. Cosigned 100%

Though I’d add that I was also disappointed in Ted (not to mention they’d killed off Tracy who deserved way better than that). I was so proud of the moment in the previous episode where Robin said maybe I should be with you and Ted said no. You’re just afraid, you love Barney and he loves you. Get married. He’d finally grown up. And now here he is again with that damn blue french horn chasing Robin.

A VIDEO

gradientlair:

I recently shared a few tweets about the the patriarchal, misogynistic, male privilege, entitled, and utterly repulsive notion (usually proffered by cishet/hetero men) of the “friend zone” that refuses to die. Refuses! I’ve written about this in the past and about how it connects to Nice Guys™ (not *any* men with many personality facets and moods that include niceness, but a very specific type here) in Nice Guys™ and Race, "Divide and Conquer," Passive Aggression and Bad Dating Tactics, Boring and Entitled ≠ Nice and Nice Guys™ and Feminism. There I discussed the specifics about the entitlement and passive aggressive misogyny involved in the myth of this “friend zone” and related issues. Thus, here I’ll mention something else.

I am really disturbed by how misconstrued and degraded the notion of friendship is. Not all romantic relationships involve sex; thus, the absence of sex does not make a relationship automatically a friendship in the traditionally platonic sense, period. Sexual attraction is not the only type of attraction that exists. Friendship does not exist between two people solely because they know each other and one of the people who has sexual desire/intentions doesn’t make that known and expects the other person to be aware of it, initiate something and desire them sexually. Pursuing someone solely for sex or for a sexual romantic relationship entitles the pursuant to absolutely nothing. No one else is required to satiate someone else’s desires unless they want to and both consent. 

Women do not owe men anything solely because those men perceive themselves as “nice.” I am specific now because it is predominately cishet/hetero men suggesting that a “friend zone” exists in regards to not being able to have sex with/date women at their will. The notion that performing niceness (because actually being thoughtful is not a performance in hopes of a reward) for a sexual reward without conveying sexual interest and not making what is desired clear and known is sheerly inadequacy at best, manipulation at worst. This seems to be especially awful for Black women (which I mentioned in my essay Nice Guys™ and Race) since how Black women are devalued interracially and intraracially impacts the male gaze, especially the hetero Black male gaze. So the idea that Black women have no empowerment or entitlement to choose or to reject who we don’t desire (and not all Black women or any women are automatically heterosexual and desire men just because those men are “nice” in their own opinions) directly connects to other dehumanizing stereotypes that are used justify violence against us. 

And sure, I know that some women also ascribe to this myth of the “friend zone” where they perceive friendship as the absence of sex. Of course. Patriarchy doesn’t only impact how men perceive relationships; women and other people who aren’t men are impacted too. But because of how patriarchy assigns the most power to cishet men, the related perception of entitlement to women’s bodies is much higher for them than anyone else. Certainly this is affected by other intersectional factors such as race; strugglingtobeheard pointed out in the differences between “friend zone” rhetoric of White and Black men in regards to structural power.

Several things need to occur beyond obvious deconstruction of patriarchy and awareness of male privilege. One is evaluation of what an actual friendship is and looks like is needed. The rejection of “entitlement without communication” is needed. If these men think that “friendship” is a parking place until they can be sexual, then not only do they devalue friendship, they devalue sexual romantic relationships as well. They, themselves, need to figure out what these relationships look like for them. Because what some men suggest these relationships should be is truly pitiful. Seriously.

Reblogged from Gradient Lair
A QUOTE

No matter how hard you work on story in TV, ultimately story will not save you. Character in TV is ALL. Truly good stories, of course, come OUT of character, they don’t happen TO characters. Good story always comes out of character choice.

This doesn’t mean that you can slack off and write bad stories, or you shouldn’t bust your ass to write great stories, which is what all those writers hammering away in writer’s rooms right now are doing. It’s just that you can not help be cognizant of the irony that you are working hardest at the part of the show the audience cares least about….What good story does is provide the most interesting or intriguing framework for the characters. Great story supercharges a show.

A PHOTO

LADIES SPAM  PARKER (LEVERAGE)

"i think i’m getting better at this. i didn’t even stab him!"

A VIDEO

If you’re going to kill me, then can I please have some water? Please.

Olivia Dunham

A VIDEO

fullmetalsayaka:

31 Days of Fictional Lady Appreciation: A protagonist (1/2)

     ↳ Sabriel, Sabriel

Best.

Reblogged from I walk like cursive
A QUOTE

Before I am your daughter,
your sister,
your aunt, niece, or cousin,
I am my own person,
and I will not set fire to myself
to keep you warm.

Reblogged from You've Seen Me